Families and kids are one of my favorite photo sessions to take. They are the pictures you get done only once in a great while, the ones you take solely for the purpose of filling that blank space on your wall. But they are also some of the most stressful shoots, mostly for mom and dad.
I get it: just a few days ago we met up with one of my best friends to trade family pictures, and before the first picture was taken I was already feeling pretty stressed. I only have one little one year old, but our family of three still took awhile to get dressed in cute matching clothes, and make sure they stayed clean. Add in trying to get my curious little boy to stare at the camera and smile, and you've got a recipe for major stress. When the wind started to blow my hair crazy, I realized a whole side to this family session thing I didn't as the photographer: it's not just sitting and smiling. It's hard work!
Inevitably, a lot of the sessions with young kids end in tears or tantrums or just plain refusing to smile. And with nearly every family, it's the same story: first, the bribes start.
"Mommy will buy you any candy bar you want if you just smile for this picture!"
"Remember if you're a good girl we can get ice cream after this!"
When that doesn't work (or when it only works for one picture), the threats start.
"You won't get a treat if you don't smile!"
"You don't get to play with your friends after this if you don't behave!"
"Smile!!! 5....4...3..."
Now, I'm not one to judge anyone's parenting style. I know how hard it is, and I definitely know how desperate you feel after spending all day getting your family to look their best. Just pretend we are a perfect family for 10 minutes! I am paying for this!
But as a photographer, this bothers me for several reasons.
For one, I genuinely want you to have a good time at your session! Your pictures will be so much better if your family is relaxed and happy. The smiles are more natural, and you won't feel angry every time you walk past that picture for years to come.
Secondly, you ARE paying for this. Very rarely do families show up in clothes they chose last minute, with hair a mess and food stains on their faces. It takes planning, it takes work, and it takes money. Your time and money are valuable to me, so as your photographer I'm not going to give up ten minutes into a session just because little Timmy is throwing a tantrum.
So without further ado, these are my few little hints to help you have an enjoyable, peaceful photo session... even with kids.
#1: Let Your Photographer Take Control I know for me it goes against my very nature to let someone else parent while I am around. But my years of nanny experience have taught me one very important thing: Kids are much more likely to listen to a stranger than they are to mom. Mom is just too familiar and easy to rebel against.
If you've chosen a somewhat seasoned photographer, they have been through this whole routine before. We are not thrown when cute little Susie rips out her bows and starts screaming. We have plenty of tricks up our sleeve to help keep kids happy.
Put yourself in their shoes: you've just been driven someplace you've never been before. You are sat down, alone, probably somewhere uncomfortable, and told to smile at the nice stranger with the big black camera.
It's not comfortable, and it doesn't make for great pictures. And after sessions like that, I hate to say it, but I can just tell a lot of kids leave just hating the photographer. That session was torture! The next session is only going to be worse, because now getting your picture taken is as bad as going to the dentist.
So, let your photographer take the lead. I like to talk to the kids, show them their best pictures on my camera, ask if they can smile even better than that. When they feel like they are my friend, they are much more themselves. Those are the pictures you want taken!
Does your little one love a certain song or rhyme? Is there a toy that always makes them smile? Bring them along, but wait for your photographer's cue to use them. It's these sessions that usually have me, mom, and dad dancing around like crazy people, but we always get cute smiles!
#3 Let Yourself Relax I realize you're not spending a day at the spa. But a photo session can really be a fun outing for you and your family! You are already dressed up, so go out for dinner afterwards, or the ice cream you've been promising little Timmy! Have fun with your session, and don't set too many expectations. The worst is when someone comes to me with a list of Pinterest-inspired photos that we just have to get done during our session. It's great to have in mind what you want, but be open to different poses and shots. Your photographer can see things you can't, and you've most likely chosen them because you like the work they've done before. Trust that they are creating something just as magical for you!
#4 Stop, stop, stop the Threats! If taking away privileges is your go-to form of punishment at your house, then more power to you. But when your child is posed, arms crossed and a permanent frown on his face, telling him you are going to take away his DS is NOT going to produce a smile. At least, not the kind of smile we are going for. When I'm doing one-on-one pictures of kids, I often recommend that mom and dad take a little walk, or distract themselves with something nearby. Odds are, the kid really has nothing against me or having his picture taken, he just wants a reaction from his parents. Once he figures out we are friends, I can usually catch a cute smile while we talk about his favorite games.
#5 Be Patient I know the minute you step out of the car and shake your photographers hand, it feels like the clock starts ticking. Depending on the type of session you have, you may have a certain time limit imposed. But sitting and immediately demanding everyone pastes on a smile usually doesn't produce the kinds of pictures you want printed! With larger families, I almost always have to do some head swaps in photoshop. It's just too hard to get multiple people looking and smiling all at the same time, without anyone closing their eyes! For me, I want to move on to the next pose, so I usually make sure I have at least one of each person looking and then move on.
As the adults, you will make your session so much quicker if you just keep looking at the camera and smiling. There is nothing more frustrating than when I finally get the perfect shot of the kid who wouldn't cooperate- but both mom and dad are not looking because they were distracted with the kid. Again, trust your photographer. Let them do what they can to get the right reaction. Enjoy the fact that for this brief moment, all you have to do is sit and smile!
Until next time,
Anndee
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